What's In A Vow?

By Bart Shaw

The wedding vows are regarded by many as the central component of a wedding ceremony (some might argue for the kiss I suppose). One thing is for sure, it is the part of the ceremony that is most nerve racking for the nearly betrothed, who are usually focused on praying that they don't screw up their lines!

So, what is in a vow? Vows have a long history of being a part of the wedding ceremony, and over the years has been a gradual evolution. From a Biblical perspective we have nothing to go on in regard to actual vows, other than the fact that we know marriage is a sacred covenant and a life long commitment. The marriage vows have traditionally been the promises on which the union hinges. For hundreds of years couples have practiced reciting vows, from the simple agreement to marry, to romantic pledges written out by both bride and groom. Either way the basic tenants remain the same, these vows are the mutual commitment to build a new life together as husband and wife.

Early on, wedding vows had a slightly broadened perspective that focused not only on the couple but also on the family and local community or village. The vows were as much a commitment between lovers as they were an affiliation between families. It wasn't until the medieval times when couples began marrying in churches and utilizing what we know to be traditional wedding vows.

In recent years couples have begun to focus more on writing their own vows, allowing them to express their love and commitment in their own words. Over the years I have heard some beautiful vows, some that were well thought out, some not so well thought out, and of course your traditional, "I Ross take thee Rachel to be my lawfully wedded wife." vows. Traditional vows carry the weight and respect of being used for many years in countless successful unions as well as the appeal of stately old English "thee and thy" language. There has never been a universal set of wedding vows, however, in our culture today we have seen much more variance than we had in previous years. Contemporary adaptations range from that of NBA Superstar Shaquille O'Neal's infamous "for richer or for richer" vow in 2002 (sadly divorced less than 5 years later), to newer, less committal renditions such as, "for as long as love shall last" (if that can even be considered a vow).

Most likely you have seen vows done well, vows that were honest, from the heart, and meaningful. As you consider the importance of the vows you will make be sure they come from your heart, there is no sense in repeating empty words. If the traditional vows say what you want them to say and they appropriately express your commitment then join the thousands that have gone before you and use them. If something a bit more original meets your needs then by all means get writing (just keep in mind that your fiancé' might not be as creative as you, or vice versa).

As a central element in our modern day weddings, marriage vows will continue to evolve in detail while remaining the same in the foundations that truly make them worthy to be called vows. So what's in a vow? Promise.History.Commitment.Originality.Love.

For more info: check out these sites to help you with your vows (additionally, most clergy should be able to provide you with an assortment of traditional and more contemporary vows).